It just that it's....

it's just too much. too hard. too exhausting. too draining. isn't draining the same as exhausting? it deserves repeating for emphasis anyway. i don't care. Sometimes when you take a step back to see the whole big picture you get a surprise. something you didn't quite expect. Sometimes you become inspired. Sometimes you become strengthened. Sometimes you just fall apart. Sometimes taking that step back shows you what you've been avoiding. Something you didn't want to see. Something you've tried really hard to be blind to. The truth will always be the truth and will always find you in one way or another. you can run but you can't hide. Sometimes the truth hurts so bad you can't even speak it. You can't even hear it. You don't ever want to. Because simply hearing it, saying it, hearing those words come out of your mouth, tasting them on your lips, might just destroy you leaving you in pieces. But in my own life, and thankfully so, there has always been a stick of glue or a good friend holding some at the bottom of all those broken pieces to help me mend myself and stand back up. I need some glue. maybe tomorrow. Today I just want to lay here in pieces. The big picture was far too much.