The 'Thank You' of a lifetime....

So every mothers dream is her children growing into well rounded, well mannered young ones that we can gloat and be proud of until our hearts are on the very verge of explosion. Those moments are to be treasured. They etch onto the surfaces of our hearts like a song you'll never forget the melody to let alone the wonderful lyrics. Tonight I was laying in bed dying for my pain medicine to kick in for much needed relief when Prestlee crawls up on the bed. He asks if he snuggle with me and starts to chat. He starts with the usual, am I hurting, do I need anything and how he wishes we could make this tube and kidney stuff just go away. The very fact that my SIX year old is sensitive enough to think, and FEEL these things has my eyes welling with tears. Then, he says "

NO i dont wish the tube was gone. I am glad its there. Because its there means I have another baby brother and he's alive mommy, because that tube. That tube meant Henley stayed in your belly and alive too. One day it was there for me too. So I guess I kind of love the tube because it means we are all here. But, I hate it because it means your sick, and that you have to hurt really bad. I'm sorry mommy that you have this yucky, horrible no good tube in your back. Thank you for having it. Thank you for being a fighter mommy. I am happy your mine and you let the doctor do that to you. I love you mommy, 'm going to sleep now good night."

He fell asleep beside me twisting my hair. I feel asleep crying. I love him. I am so very, very proud of him and who he is. He is a spectacular little guy with a true, genuine heart of gold.

Going through this you never expect your children to "get-it" and honestly I wish they never had to know that I got so sick and went through this. But to have one old enough to see exactly what it takes and what i am going through and to say Thank you. Wow. That feeling that flooded me when his words were wrapping around my heart....I can't explain at all....

I love you, Prestlee, Henley & Madden. I would do anything for you, I mean that. Anything. I would do this all a million times over and over again just to see a smile from you, to smell your sweet baby breaths and hear your first I love you's and giggles. I would have done any of this for just a a moment with you. I have loved you three with my entire heart since the moment your lives began, and I will love you far beyond your imagination.

This song is for you my beautiful boys, xoxo

Sweet dreams my little love.