home sweet home

Home sweet home. I am here at home. Pathetically weak. Pukey. Pained. Bitter. But, I am here. Momma is here too. She's gonna stay another night. It's grand central station here. Lots of help, which is fantastic. At least the boys don't seem too freaked out. I am though. My heart cracks & breaks at the thought that things from here until birth day are gonna be vastly different from the way they were. I can't hold my baby anymore. I can't scoop him right up when he falls and gets an owwie. I can't snuggle at night the way I used to with Prestlee. The kidney pain is awful, but these pains are much worse. I already miss my boys. This is going to be a l-o-n-g hard road.