three days

my ticker says I have three days left. i'd be doing a happy dance if I felt like it. but, i don't. I have supposedly had my last tube change on last friday. I do not have one scheduled for this friday and thats great. but i am so pessimistic at this point that I dare to believe it actually was the last one. stupid tube hurts since sunday. a lot really. so I am holding off on believing for half a second I am all done with that non-sense. instead of getting up at the crack of dawn. well before the crack of down in all honesty, I will be getting up around 7am instead of 4am and hauling it down to the hospital to have a nice giant needle stuck into my uterus to see if Madden will be good and ready to breath room air or he'd be likely vent dependent or some other type of method of forced oxygen. Odds are he's ready which is good, no great. But I know that "Odds" hate me. But this week I have had it up-to-here with the odds hating me & just about everything else too, that I double dog dare a fly to cross me wrong. I am a million types of feeling awful and foul. This chick has had it and is DONE.